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“Trying times” is how I can personally describe life whilst in the middle of a pandemic. I don’t think anyone was rightfully prepared for what has happened throughout the world. At the start of 2020, we all had our wishes and New Year resolutions, thinking of a new slate, a new start to be better and do better. But by mid-March that all changed.

When the pandemic started, I remember watching the news, seeing how it started with just one person in the U.S. contracting it, one person locally, then to an outbreak with numbers constantly surging. Then cities began to shut down.

The night my city announced it would be shutting down, I quickly texted my team lead excited, thinking we would get a “paid-break” from work. She quickly shut me down and said, “We are essential.” I replied, “Essential? What’s that?” I then was schooled that certain jobs will still have to report to work because that business or service is essential to everyday needs. But how? How can people still work and be on the streets if a city is shut down? I was baffled, to say the least.

Once this happened and the number of cases started increasing, I remember my company coming up with a plan. They would soon be sending some departments to work from home, some would be sourced to other branches, while others would still be in the building. And of course, I would be sourced to work inside another branch of my company.

Getting that news made me feel uneasy, because in the back of my mind I thought, “What if someone in that branch has COVID? How are they ensuring that we are safe?” It was so nerve wrecking; I just wanted to make sure me and family remained safe.

Watching the news became almost like eating regularly. I woke up to the news, checked while at my desk, then came home and went to sleep to the news. I began to feel depressed, concerned and anxious — not to mention that I sometimes suffer from extreme anxiety. I talked to my boss several times and it was just nothing she could do. Many of my coworkers all had the same worries and were upset about the fact of having to come to work while others were able to work from the safety of their home.

To add on the mounting tensions, our workload increased tremendously. Working a financial institution amid a pandemic had our members very anxious about their funds. No one knew what was going to happen with COVID-19 and the economy.

It was the peak of a pandemic and I was at work around others. One the other hand, the CEO and my supervisor were home. Something was wrong with that picture.

I spent many nights coming home to my husband upset about everything that was happening. I would vent to him and my mom about it. Nothing seemed fair. I started researching lawsuits to see if any of the “essential workers” filed against their employers for putting them at risk for catching COVID-19. At that time, I found nothing. So, I just left it alone and came to the realization that it’s really nothing that I can do to help me and my fellow colleagues who were putting our lives on the line daily.

From that point on, I haven’t felt the same about work and life. In fact, it has pushed me to invest in myself so I can get to the point where I can work for myself and my personal dream. Being an “essential worker,” outside of the brave and heroic doctors, nurses, firefighters and police officers, is very risky. You are risking your life ultimately to serve a purpose for fulfilling your job. I mean, we did apply, interview and accept that position, but we had no idea that COVID-19 would happen and that we would be met with dire working conditions.

We are only met with this life once. This is not a rehearsal. So, with my faith and being a believer, I believe in this season God has called me to live out my dreams, to stop waiting and procrastinating. Watching everyone else around me move, I believe it’s time to move, time to live and finally make my own dreams come true.

Chelsea Caudle

Writing since February 2022 · 2 stories contributed